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Offbeat News

RSS feedDisplaying articles 41 - 50 of most recent articles

Senate Rejects Pipeline Plan That Would Have Created Thousands Of Climate Activist Jobs WASHINGTON—Coming up just one vote short of the supermajority needed for the measure to pass, the U.S.Senate rejected an oil pipeline plan Tuesday that analysts say would have created thousands of climate activist jobs.
The Onion | Nov 19, 2014 9:12 PM [GMT] | comment? | recommend
Man Just Wants One Trip To Laundromat Where He Doesnt Meet Perfect Woman CHICAGO—Stating that he only wants to wash his clothes and be on his way, local man Eric Snyder told reporters Wednesday that for once he’d like to visit the laundromat without meeting an absolutely perfect woman.
The Onion | Nov 19, 2014 7:46 PM [GMT] | comment? | recommend
American Voices: Charles Manson To Marry 26-Year-Old Visitor-Girlfriend, Star Afton “Star” Burton, the 26-year-old girlfriend of Charles Manson who has been visiting him in prison since she was 17 and runs several websites alleging his innocence, has reportedly procured a marriage license to wed the 80-year-old mass mur
The Onion | Nov 19, 2014 7:35 PM [GMT] | comment? | recommend
Study: Beginning Email With Short, Disingenuous Inquiry Into Personal Life Best Way To Network CLEMSON, SC—Having carefully analyzed over 30,000 pieces of correspondence over a two-year period, a study released Wednesday by Clemson University confirmed that beginning an email to a well-connected individual with a short, disingenuous inquiry i
The Onion | Nov 19, 2014 7:11 PM [GMT] | comment? | recommend
'Tiny Hamster' serves absurdly small U.S. Thanksgiving meal The folks who pitted a world hot dog eating champion against YouTube sensation Tiny Hamster and created thimble-sized burritos for their furry rodent friend are at it again, this time with a Thanksgiving feast with all the impossibly small fixings. | Nov 19, 2014 7:05 PM [GMT] | comment? | recommend
Man Going To Trust Societys Determination That He Deserves His Privilege IRVINE, CA—Assuming that the many benefits he enjoys every day would not have been granted to him if he weren’t fully entitled to them, local man Brandon Naylor told reporters Wednesday he is willing to accept society’s determination tha
The Onion | Nov 19, 2014 6:36 PM [GMT] | comment? | recommend
Seasonal Depression To Take Over For Chronic Depression For A Few Months Seasonal Depression To Take Over For Chronic Depression For A Few Months
The Onion | Nov 19, 2014 6:08 PM [GMT] | comment? | recommend
U-Haul Offers Discount For Customers Who Will Just Move Back Home In 18 Months After Failure To Make It In Major City PHOENIX—Catering to a large and valuable segment of customers who have misguided visions of what city living will be like, truck rental company U-Haul announced Wednesday that it is now offering a discount to customers who will just end up moving ba
The Onion | Nov 19, 2014 5:07 PM [GMT] | comment? | recommend
Woman Transitions From Being Terrified Of Getting Pregnant To Being Terrified She Cant Get Pregnant BETHLEHEM, PA— Acknowledging that she once considered conceiving a child to be the greatest threat to her future, local woman Rebecca Davis confirmed Wednesday that she has transitioned from being terrified of getting pregnant to being terrified she
The Onion | Nov 19, 2014 4:49 PM [GMT] | comment? | recommend
Watch Artist Make Masterpieces with Marijuana Smoke Watch Brazilian artist Fernando de la Rocque exhale marijuana smoke through a stencil onto paper, creating a new twist on highbrow art.
MSNBC | Nov 19, 2014 4:32 PM [GMT] | comment? | recommend