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Articles from The Onion

RSS feedDisplaying articles 1 - 10 of most recent articles

Mom Has Stacked Dinner Party Roster GOLDEN, COTheir eyes widening in amazement as the 43-year-old rattled off the names of heavy hitter after heavy hitter, impressed members of the Dreeshen household confirmed Friday that the roster for their moms upcoming dinner party was absolutely stacke
The Onion | Apr 15, 2016 4:11 PM [GMT] | comment? | recommend
Explosions: The Loud Killer Read full story for latest details.
The Onion | Apr 15, 2016 3:02 PM [GMT] | comment? | recommend
Universe Feels Zero Connection To Guy Tripping On Mushrooms EUGENE, ORNoting that it had yet to experience any sort of oneness with the 22-year-old, the universe confirmed Friday that it felt absolutely zero connection to a local man currently tripping on hallucinogenic mushrooms. As far as I can tell, all the bou
The Onion | Apr 15, 2016 2:52 PM [GMT] | comment? | recommend
Tiger Population Increases For First Time In 100 Years The global wild tiger census has reached 3,890, the first increase in population in over 100 years and significantly higher than the last surveys all-time low in 2010. What do you think?
The Onion | Apr 15, 2016 2:43 PM [GMT] | comment? | recommend
Bernie Sanders Asks Anyone Whos Serious About Breaking Up Big Banks To Meet Him On Corner Of Canal And Bowery At Midnight NEW YORKInviting all those truly committed to economic equality, presidential candidate Bernie Sanders announced during Thursday nights Democratic debate that anyone whos serious about breaking up big banks should meet him on the corner of Canal and Bower
The Onion | Apr 15, 2016 12:53 AM [GMT] | comment? | recommend
Hillary Clinton Clearly Tailoring Debate Answers To Unclaimed New York Superdelegate NEW YORKRepeatedly emphasizing how her proposed policies would benefit middle-aged fathers of three who work in the public sector, Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton appeared to be tailoring each of her answers during Thursday nights primar
The Onion | Apr 15, 2016 12:52 AM [GMT] | comment? | recommend
A Look Back At The Career Of Kobe Bryant, The NBAs All-Time Greatest Ego Read full story for latest details.
The Onion | Apr 14, 2016 9:15 PM [GMT] | comment? | recommend
Octopus Escapes New Zealand Aquarium Inky the Octopus is believed to have escaped the national aquarium of New Zealand by opening the lid of his tank, slithering across the floor, then squeezing through a 5-inch-wide drainage pipe and out to sea. What do you think?
The Onion | Apr 14, 2016 7:51 PM [GMT] | comment? | recommend
Passersby Stop To Stare At Man Leading Sad Life Through Open Apartment Window CINCINNATISaying they could not stop staring despite the highly private nature of the scene that was unfolding, numerous passersby reportedly paused dead in their tracks Wednesday night upon catching sight of a man leading an incredibly sad life who was c
The Onion | Apr 14, 2016 5:21 PM [GMT] | comment? | recommend
Worlds Marine Life On Edge Now That SeaWorld Moving On From Orcas PACIFIC OCEANFollowing the theme parks pledge to phase out exhibits featuring the whale species and discontinue breeding them in captivity altogether, the worlds marine life told sources Thursday they were completely on edge now that SeaWorld is moving on
The Onion | Apr 14, 2016 5:14 PM [GMT] | comment? | recommend