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Articles from The Onion

RSS feedDisplaying articles 1 - 4 of most recent articles

American Voices: Canada Begins Phasing Out Pennies With each penny costing roughly 1.6 cents to create and distribute, the Royal Canadian Mint stopped placing one-cent coins into circulation Monday, prompting Canadian retailers to begin rounding prices for all cash purchases to the nearest nickel.
The Onion | Feb 6, 2013 3:25 PM [GMT] | 1 comment | recommend
Disturbance Of Arafat's Grave Casts Horrible Curse On Middle East RAMALLAH, WEST BANK—Experts familiar with the ancient prophecies warned Tuesday that by exhuming the remains of former leader Yasser Arafat, Palestinian officials had unleashed a horrible curse upon the Middle East, dooming the region to now begin c
The Onion | Nov 27, 2012 10:40 PM [GMT] | 1 comment | recommend
American Voices: Justice Department Rejects Texas Voter ID Law The U.S. Department of Justice blocked a Texas law requiring voters to present a state-issued photo ID before casting a ballot, saying it unfairly discriminated against Hispanics.
The Onion | Mar 14, 2012 5:00 PM [GMT] | 1 comment | recommend
Report: Majority Of Americans Experience Profound Sense Of Dread When Asked To Name Favorite Music PHILADELPHIA—A new study from the University of Pennsylvania revealed Wednesday that 81 percent of Americans experience muscle tension, elevated heart rate, and profuse sweating when asked what kind of music they most enjoy listening to.
The Onion | Nov 18, 2011 6:00 PM [GMT] | 1 comment | recommend