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Articles from The Onion

RSS feedDisplaying articles 1 - 10 of most recent articles

American Voices: Patients Making Record Number Of Telehealth E-Visits With Doctors A report from consulting firm Deloitte predicted that by the end of 2014, Americans will make a record 75 million telehealth appointments, or “e-visits,” with their doctors by video chatting with physicians or emailing them pictures of their a
The Onion | Sep 12, 2014 9:15 PM [GMT] | comment? | recommend
Infographic: Tips For Fixing The Nations Education System Public schools throughout the nation continue to contend with budget shortfalls and insufficient classroom resources, while U.S.
The Onion | Sep 12, 2014 7:45 PM [GMT] | comment? | recommend
[video] Roger Goodell Insists He Still Hasn't Seen Ray Rice Video The NFL announces a new zero-tolerance policy on videotaped domestic violence, a puzzled nation can remember the name Ferguson, but is not sure from where, and a man wearing an M&M jacket is apparently made in God's image.
The Onion | Sep 12, 2014 7:17 PM [GMT] | comment? | recommend
Sportsgraphic: Fantasy Football Week 2: Start Em, Sit Em Onion Sports has expert analysis on which players to keep and which players to drop from your fantasy football starting lineup this week: Start ’Em DeMarco Murray (RB): Should be up to the task of putting the Cowboys on his bac...
The Onion | Sep 12, 2014 5:20 PM [GMT] | comment? | recommend
HR Sends Out Reminder Email About Not Scrawling Revenge In Blood In Conference Room SPOKANE, WA—After the eighth such incident this year, Vista Consulting Partners human resources director Beth Shumaker sent out a company-wide email Thursday reminding employees not to scrawl the word “revenge” in blood across any surfac
The Onion | Sep 12, 2014 5:05 PM [GMT] | comment? | recommend
Community Loses Interest 3 Days After Rallying To Save Local Theater PLATTEVILLE, CT—Just three days after residents gathered in the city’s main square and emphatically vowed to save the historic Orpheum Theater from its scheduled demolition, sources confirmed Friday that the community of Platteville had lost a
The Onion | Sep 12, 2014 3:55 PM [GMT] | comment? | recommend
American Voices: New SheTaxi Cab Service Exclusively For Female Passengers, Drivers A new smartphone app called SheTaxi launching in New York later this month allows women to order taxis driven exclusively by female drivers so they can avoid harassment from male drivers.
The Onion | Sep 12, 2014 1:45 PM [GMT] | comment? | recommend
American Voices: Oscar Pistorius Found Not Guilty Of Murder A high court in South Africa ruled that “Blade Runner” Oscar Pistorius is not guilty of murdering girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp, though the judge added, “It is clear his conduct was negligent.” What do you think?
The Onion | Sep 11, 2014 8:25 PM [GMT] | comment? | recommend
Goodell Assures Fans He Was Too Busy Dismissing Other Players Assaults To Watch Ray Rice Tape NEW YORK—In response to allegations that his office had received a copy of the footage months ago showing former Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice hitting his then-fiancée, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell assured fans Thursday that he had..
The Onion | Sep 11, 2014 7:35 PM [GMT] | comment? | recommend
Infographic: The Pros And Cons Of Military Intervention Against ISIS In a televised address to the American public Wednesday, President Obama laid out plans for using military force to destroy the ISIS terrorist network.
The Onion | Sep 11, 2014 7:20 PM [GMT] | comment? | recommend