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Articles from The Onion

RSS feedDisplaying articles 1 - 10 of most recent articles

Infographic: How To Navigate The Holidays Alone While many people will be gathering with family and friends this holiday season to eat, drink, and be merry, others may not have anyone with whom to celebrate the festivities.
The Onion | 17 hours, 53 minutes ago | comment? | recommend
Family Knows Better Than To Fall For Moms Little Bullshit Speech About No Presents This Year RICHMOND, VA—Saying that several of them had learned the hard way, members of the Gordon family confirmed to reporters Friday that they knew damn well not to believe Mom’s little bullshit speech about not giving gifts this Christmas.
The Onion | 17 hours, 58 minutes ago | comment? | recommend
Infographic: Avoiding Family Conflict During The Holiday Season The holidays are supposed to be a festive time, but when families gather together, arguments and negativity often threaten to spoil the occasion.
The Onion | Dec 18, 2014 2:00 PM [GMT] | comment? | recommend
[video] The Onion Reviews 'The Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies' The Onion's movie critic Peter K. Rosenthal reviews 'The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies ' in this week's Film Standard.
The Onion | Dec 17, 2014 6:20 PM [GMT] | comment? | recommend
Mom Gathers Rolls Of Wrapping Paper Around Her To Stroke Softly OAKWOOD, OH—Tenderly cooing as she basked in the comforting sight of snowman, Santa, and Christmas tree patterns, local mother Melissa Weaver surrounded herself with a dozen rolls of wrapping paper to softly stroke, sources confirmed Friday.
The Onion | Dec 12, 2014 9:13 PM [GMT] | comment? | recommend
Infographic: How Police Are Revamping Their Tactics In the wake of widespread protests against police brutality and discrimination, law enforcement departments across the country are instituting new rules and policies to ensure safer practices.
The Onion | Dec 12, 2014 7:58 PM [GMT] | comment? | recommend
Slideshow: Those We Lost in 2014 Those We Lost in 2014
The Onion | Dec 12, 2014 7:40 PM [GMT] | comment? | recommend
Athletes Heartwarming Story Fucking Sucks INDIANAPOLIS—Sources from across the nation confirmed Friday that the heartwarming story of Indianapolis Colts scout team player Marcus Newsome, a 31-year-old linebacker who realized his NFL dream five years after being diagnosed with a rare autoimm
The Onion | Dec 12, 2014 6:58 PM [GMT] | comment? | recommend
Opinion: I Dont See Race; I Only See Grayish-Brown, Vaguely Humanoid Shapes Read full story for latest details.
The Onion | Dec 12, 2014 6:12 PM [GMT] | comment? | recommend
Sportsgraphic: Fantasy Football Week 15: Start Em, Sit Em Onion Sports has expert analysis on which players to keep and which players to drop from your fantasy football starting lineup this week: Start ’Em Johnny Manziel (QB): Manziel is finally showing the type of deluded confidence ...
The Onion | Dec 12, 2014 5:36 PM [GMT] | comment? | recommend