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Articles from The Onion

RSS feedDisplaying articles 1 - 10 of most recent articles

Magazine: Our Tips For Getting Nauseated And Staying Nauseated Our Tips For Getting Nauseated And Staying Nauseated
The Onion | 16 hours, 36 minutes ago | comment? | recommend
American Voices: Chelsea Clinton Expecting First Child Chelsea Clinton announced on Thursday that she's expecting her first child with husband Marc Mezvinsky later this fall.
The Onion | 18 hours, 36 minutes ago | comment? | recommend
Man Attempting To Determine Whether Restaurant Closed Without Getting Too Close BALTIMORE—As he squinted and craned his neck in an effort to peer through the establishment’s front windows from the sidewalk across the street, local man Shane Peterson confided to reporters Friday that he was attempting to ascertain whether
The Onion | 19 hours, 6 minutes ago | comment? | recommend
[video] Report: 14% Of Americans Now Intolerant To Word 'Gluten' Everyone in a bustling Chinese parade is attempting to elude pursuers, newly discovered cave paintings suggest early man was battling a lot of inner demons, and a xylophonist is shredding it.
The Onion | 19 hours, 36 minutes ago | comment? | recommend
Alabama Quietly Strikes Bo Bice Day From State Calendar MONTGOMERY, AL—Conceding that there was no longer a need to formally acknowledge the accomplishments of American Idol fourth season runner-up and Alabama native Bo Bice, state officials Friday quietly moved to strike Bo Bice Day from the offi...
The Onion | 19 hours, 36 minutes ago | comment? | recommend
Jaguars Surprised By String Of Prospects Openly Discussing Prior Drug Use, Criminal Activity During Interviews JACKSONVILLE, FL—Claiming that the players completely squandered the opportunity to be selected third overall in this year’s NFL Draft, bewildered officials from the Jacksonville Jaguars front office confirmed Friday that a large number of top
The Onion | 20 hours, 36 minutes ago | comment? | recommend
Catcher Keeps Signaling 'I Love You' Catcher Keeps Signaling 'I Love You'
The Onion | 21 hours, 36 minutes ago | comment? | recommend
Infographic: Planning The Perfect Easter Egg Hunt From the White House lawn to the family yard, children across the nation will soon join in the popular holiday tradition of hunting for Easter eggs.
The Onion | 22 hours, 36 minutes ago | comment? | recommend
American Voices: Online Wizarding University Opens For Harry Potter Fans Die-hard fans of the Harry Potter series have opened Hogwarts Is Here, a free online university open to “all aspiring witches and wizards” where students enroll in nine-week courses based on classes Harry takes in the books.
The Onion | 23 hours, 36 minutes ago | comment? | recommend
American Voices: Mrs. Doubtfire Sequel In The Works The Hollywood Reporter announced that after a decade of delays and script rewrites, film studio Fox 2000 is making a sequel to Mrs.
The Onion | Apr 17, 2014 10:00 PM [GMT] | comment? | recommend